Ministry of Presence
There is a very valuable sort of ministry that I had not specifically heard named until my time as a chaplain. Both at the hospital and in some of the readings and reflections required of me during my seminary internship process I have come across something called "ministry of presence."
I considered finding a textbook definition of the phrase somewhere, but perhaps my own words, in the context, is best.
"Ministry of Presence" is when one person ministers to another person or persons, by being present with them for the purpose of encouraging and supporting them. This ministry is not a preaching or teaching ministry, but rather, a relational ministry in which the one ministering could very easily do little more than sit in silence.
The specific example shown to me in a case study for my internship was a new hire at a church who was training under the pastor. One day the pastor and the new guy stopped the work they were doing and went to talk to some ladies at work on a project somewhere else in the church. They spent a fair amount of time just talking and listening to the ladies. After they all went back to what they were doing, the new guy was very confused as to why they wasted all of the time just, talking.
He couldn't see that what they had been doing, just...talking, was itself a very, very crucial part of loving and leading others, "wasting" time with them, just talking and being with them.
And to do this sort of ministry, it is absolutely necessary that one be at least passingly capable of active listening, which I have discussed to some degree here.
As a seminary student I fully understand the temptation to take the wrong lessons to heart from class, and treat people like grades, deadlines, information. I've noticed that many of my peers have struggled with how to be present without trying to make something more of the moment than needs be. We so easily become so full of ourselves that our mental hands are full, and we have no space to simply "be present" with those we are trying to serve. Even as they speak, we are doing no more than passively listening...
My time spent working as a chaplain has helped me to see that I deeply value this "ministry of presence." Sometimes I would walk into a room, greet the patient, and their family, and though they didn't really want to talk, to pray, anything really, they were still very grateful that I came to see them. I still struggle with this. Couldn't I do something? Pray? Read some scripture? Even talk for a bit?
And yet the fact that I even showed up in the first place was itself what they wanted, to know that they had been remembered, that someone knew they were there, that effort was expended by someone else, just to check in on them.
And perhaps my desire to "do" something more in this context is the heart of our struggle with the ministry of presence. The ministry of presence is that you would simply "be" present as opposed to "doing" something.
And as I consider this, I am reminded of all of the memorable lay leaders in churches that I have known over the years. Lacking any formal training, they are memorable because they somehow still knew what it meant to have a ministry of presence. They were consistent, they weren't eloquent. They were sincere, they weren't intellectual. They were always there. And that is often how they are remembered, in the thankful recollections, "they were always there for me." Whether or not they realized it, all of these beautiful people were practicing active listening, more or less. They were simply willing to set themselves aside and focus their minds wholly onto the people they were with at the time.
Sometimes we get so caught up in climbing ladders, padding resumes, getting grades, and we forget to "be there" for those around us. And some days, when I was exhausted for far too many reasons, I would look down at my visitation sheet and count the number of people I had left to visit for the day. And in my weariness I was tempted to forget presence...
And it will be the same for all of us. The demands of life will pull at us, weary us, hurt us, break us, giving us a host of "good" reasons not to remain steadfast in practicing a ministry of presence.
So perhaps it is important to be reminded how a ministry of presence impacts all involved...
I considered finding a textbook definition of the phrase somewhere, but perhaps my own words, in the context, is best.
"Ministry of Presence" is when one person ministers to another person or persons, by being present with them for the purpose of encouraging and supporting them. This ministry is not a preaching or teaching ministry, but rather, a relational ministry in which the one ministering could very easily do little more than sit in silence.
The specific example shown to me in a case study for my internship was a new hire at a church who was training under the pastor. One day the pastor and the new guy stopped the work they were doing and went to talk to some ladies at work on a project somewhere else in the church. They spent a fair amount of time just talking and listening to the ladies. After they all went back to what they were doing, the new guy was very confused as to why they wasted all of the time just, talking.
He couldn't see that what they had been doing, just...talking, was itself a very, very crucial part of loving and leading others, "wasting" time with them, just talking and being with them.
And to do this sort of ministry, it is absolutely necessary that one be at least passingly capable of active listening, which I have discussed to some degree here.
As a seminary student I fully understand the temptation to take the wrong lessons to heart from class, and treat people like grades, deadlines, information. I've noticed that many of my peers have struggled with how to be present without trying to make something more of the moment than needs be. We so easily become so full of ourselves that our mental hands are full, and we have no space to simply "be present" with those we are trying to serve. Even as they speak, we are doing no more than passively listening...
My time spent working as a chaplain has helped me to see that I deeply value this "ministry of presence." Sometimes I would walk into a room, greet the patient, and their family, and though they didn't really want to talk, to pray, anything really, they were still very grateful that I came to see them. I still struggle with this. Couldn't I do something? Pray? Read some scripture? Even talk for a bit?
And yet the fact that I even showed up in the first place was itself what they wanted, to know that they had been remembered, that someone knew they were there, that effort was expended by someone else, just to check in on them.
And perhaps my desire to "do" something more in this context is the heart of our struggle with the ministry of presence. The ministry of presence is that you would simply "be" present as opposed to "doing" something.
And as I consider this, I am reminded of all of the memorable lay leaders in churches that I have known over the years. Lacking any formal training, they are memorable because they somehow still knew what it meant to have a ministry of presence. They were consistent, they weren't eloquent. They were sincere, they weren't intellectual. They were always there. And that is often how they are remembered, in the thankful recollections, "they were always there for me." Whether or not they realized it, all of these beautiful people were practicing active listening, more or less. They were simply willing to set themselves aside and focus their minds wholly onto the people they were with at the time.
Sometimes we get so caught up in climbing ladders, padding resumes, getting grades, and we forget to "be there" for those around us. And some days, when I was exhausted for far too many reasons, I would look down at my visitation sheet and count the number of people I had left to visit for the day. And in my weariness I was tempted to forget presence...
And it will be the same for all of us. The demands of life will pull at us, weary us, hurt us, break us, giving us a host of "good" reasons not to remain steadfast in practicing a ministry of presence.
So perhaps it is important to be reminded how a ministry of presence impacts all involved...
- The other person --> The other person is being deeply impacted by your ministry of presence. They are being affirmed and acknowledged by you, as being valuable enough to spend time on and devote energy to. And they are being welcomed into either a sense of community, or depending on the circumstances, actual community. Either way, the "other" person is receiving deep, life-changing love with your presence. They may not always recognize this, and you may not always see the impact immediately, but a ministry of presence is a potent offering from one person to another.
- The one giving --> For those of us giving of ourselves in order to "be present," what do we gain from this process? Is this purely for the benefit of the "other?" No! And if it is, then something is wrong. In giving our presence to someone else, we are not giving the "stuffs" of love belonging to us, but we are acting in accordance to the pleasures and designs of God, giving of his love "stuffs." And so as we give to others in this way, we too are fed, in the sort of fellowship that brings God's pleasure and blessings of peace and comfort in our hearts and minds. It is very much like a food that we are giving to others who are starving, but we ourselves are fed by this food, because unlike the food of the body, which MUST NOT be eaten in order to give to others, a ministry of presence is ultimately an outworking of God's identity, taken in through our understanding of him through his Word, which MUST be taken in and digested before it can be given away. And so in giving the "other" something to eat, we too are fed, for man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God (Deut. 8:3/Math. 4:4).
- The God over both giver and receiver --> I often forget that God is a person, three persons to be exact. Not a nameless, faceless, emotionless force sliding impotently through the universe giving out good feelings and vague hints at shallow divinity. God, Father, Spirit, and Son, is and are... persons. And so when you give your presence to others as a ministry, you are, in fact, like the little child adoring their father and mimicking him out of sheer love and awe and child-like wonder, as he sits there watching. God not only knows what we do, he is present there with us when we do whatever we do. And so God's pleasure in the moments of our ministry of presence is a very real thing, like a hand our shoulder, a voice whispering in our ear, saying, "well done." Yes, the ministry of presence impacts God. It brings him pleasure.
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